NANAGARL LALA LAND

24 December 2010 @ 04:18 pm

Life was suppose to be ~~exhilarated~~,full of ~~excitement~~ and ~~joy~~. But now, i realized, it ain't like what it is being stated. TRUE meaning of LIFE is actually pain,suffering,anger and madness. why do we have to be treated the way we didn't deserve. Did GOD really hate us to make us suffer on the inside. It is already painful to be suffering from it alone but now, it affect the rest around me as well. It is just unfair. the treatment that we received is just unfair.I do not understand, why must you and your family treat us this way?Isn't our sacrifice we made all this while means anything to you and your family?Let me recall, when you are in debt, who supported you and your family?who was the one who went face-to-face with the debtors to settle your damn payment? It seems that you do not know the meaning of kindness. All you did was return us with HATE from people around us. You are saying we feeling jealous of you, honestly speaking, what do you and your family has that we needed to feel that way. For god sake, PLEASE!
Moving on, another set of family, when you needed someone to care for the beloved, we were there giving and reaching out to support. I am not a CHILD anymore where i just kept quiet and bottle things up. I believe, it is time for justice and those who deserve to be treated with respect, will do. But for the rest, you just needed to be treated like the homeless. you people do not deserve my respect. Don't put the blame on my parents as they taught me well enough. Therefore, from this very moment, i swore to myself to treat those who are against us like homeless rats as you are one. I do not care if the rest support you (even though they know you were at wrong) as we SULAIMAN family stick together. So, if you wanna ignore my dad's or mom's call , go ahead as you are just equally stupid and dumb like the family that you are supporting. keep being two faces, as i believe that what comes around, goes around.

Current Mood:

blank

Current Music: JLS- Love You More

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17 September 2010 @ 02:37 pm

B.A.C.K

I need to write. I need to express things that I might not able to before. I need to say this out loud. Just by having me keeping it, it’s killing me on the inside.
It is not that I am still sulking over what had happened, it is just that I wonder, don’t the party who is responsible for my granny’s wealth feels any guilty? For using her money to pay over their debts without paying her back. Do they really think by being the “ANGEL, FULFILING SON” will solve their debts. It is not any of my business and all, but still, she’s my granny and I have the every right to be piss. She’s always sided with his family. His daughter is this, his daughter is that. When I had my surgery, she didn’t care, when HIS daughter wanted to go for surgery, she’s making a huge fuss about it. Come on. It is damn unfair to me and to my family. From the stories I heard, it is just unfair. They are being treated like garbage, having to “beg” to be treated well. I just had enough. ALL ARE THE SAME! HATE THEM ALL!!!

Oh, my holiday is RESERVE for taking care of my granny on someone request. It is not that I am complaining, I love her to death, but can’t they let me have some free time of my own for at least a week? My life in school has already been hectic and I can’t even breathe properly. How am I going to keep my friends close when I’m always being task to do this? It’s ok, I DON’T NEED FRIENDS CAUSE’ I AM A FUCKING BITCH WHO HAS NO LIFE OF HER OWN!!!!! SCREW YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE ON THIS!

Current Location: living room

Current Mood:

stressed

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28 February 2010 @ 10:17 pm

sunday

gosh. i seriously need to express this feelings right now. I cant endure this kind of feelings anymore. As the days goes by, I felt the pain is poking into my heart repeatedly. This feelings is far worse than a person suffering from Malaria. All i could now is to pray to Allah in the daily basic. I just hope that it wouldn't turn out to be like what dreams has "predicted". for now, i'm hoping for the best. God bless.

Current Location: living room

Current Mood:

blank

Current Music: Room on the Third Floor- Mcfly

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28 February 2010 @ 09:05 am

my daily dosage of actidose

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

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14 February 2010 @ 05:00 pm

SUNDAY = CNY = VALENTINE'S DAY

YO! It has been a long time since i updated my post here. well, today is full of celebration and here i am, sitting at home blogging. Ha Ha.
All close friends are either on vacation or busy with their school's stuff. this is what happened when a girl doesn't have a date OR their date is on vacation with their family. LOL. So which one is your's? As for me, it fall under, " date is on vacation with their family". LOL
it's been too long since i am in a serious relationship. After Danne passes on, i am in NO serious relationship as mostly, the guy that i dated are either a JERK or a big fucking JERK! So, during this time of the year, i will reminiscing about all the good times that i had with him. I truly miss him. sometimes, i shedded into tears for no apparent reason. I miss him terribly. i didn't tell anybody about this before, but i felt that during my stay in the hospital, i vividly remembered that he was there, right there to keep me company at night. till this date, i still do not know whether it was just my imagination due to the drugs in my system during that period of treatment or he did come to keep me company like how i did when he was in the hospital....
i seriously wish that he didn't have brain cancer as he was my happy sunshine all this while... he was my happy sunshine and rainbow as when i'm with him, he always keep me laughing and never,never fail to put a smile on my face..He was also my first valentine's day date and i remembered that he bought me a Ferrero Rocher chocolate bouquet and it totally melt my heart...It was the best day of my life. I have to admit, i was like a lost child after finding out about his death.. i was totally devastated as he was my first for everything. it took me 4 solid months to really differentiate between reality and fantasy. my parents almost wanting to send me to the shrink for help. BUT thanks to them and their support, i managed to get on with my life...
so, i think i had enough of this flashback as if i continued,i will be totally depressed by now.. so, happy V day people.=]

Current Location: home, while listening to his favourite hit.

Current Mood:

depressed

Current Music: this i promise you

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25 January 2010 @ 09:47 pm

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage"

hello, i have been pretty busy lately with school and my driving classes. Now, my grades are kinda bad, thus, i needed to concentrate more on my studies. this semester, my attendant suck as well. thus, my new resolution for next semester will be to have at least 95 % attendant in school and score at least a B grade for all my UTs..
Anyway, i have been chatting with pretty awesome and i must say, cute dudes from New Zealand and England respectively. they are not like those crazy, kinky and sickening people in the chat room. Ha Ha Ha... thats it. goodnight!!

Current Location: living room

Current Mood: chipper

chipper

Current Music: contagious-boys like girls

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11 January 2010 @ 08:41 pm

A broken heart continues to beat.

every single day of last year,i have been waiting, waiting for the right moment to say this 3 words to you; i love you. However, everyday, it seems to be a bad moment for us as we are always busy with our own things. i didn't think that things will work out the way it should be as i felt that, it is too late. i can't afford to waste time as i found that because of you, my grades in school have been pretty suck and i can't risk it. I am sorry. i think, it is the best that you look for someone else as i know that you deserve better. however, deep down my heart, you will hold a special place in it. i still want us to remain as friends as that's what i think is the best. loves

Current Location: home

Current Mood: sad

sad

Current Music: i promise you

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08 January 2010 @ 08:11 am

SORRY =)

OK. let me make this clear, i know while reading my posts, there were tons of typo error. well, the reason is this,i have been writing my blog in the middle of the night, without any lights on and yea.. so shut up and just read if u people insist on reading. loves!

Current Location: school

Current Mood:

exhausted

Current Music: low shoulder-through the trees

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07 January 2010 @ 09:09 pm

HOMECOMING

OMG! it has been ages since i blog through Live journal. it is not that i am ditching this account, but, ever since i create myself a new blogger account, which is blogspot, i have been totally forgotten about this! LOL.
well, i guess, i will be having two blogs account then. However, here is the twist, this LJ, will be more personal as i felt that it is a need to standardize as if not, this acct will go to a waste. so yea..
As many of you people have known, i am currently in poly taking up business applications as my course. Many people around might have said that RP=dumping place, however, it is not. It gave me the chance to be more confidence in the sense that, being able to step up in front of the class and give my presentation without having to any cold-sweat due to nervousness. so yea, however, until now, i am still struggling with my mathematics and i feel there is a need to buck up now or else, i will have to retake the module once again next year. that would be suck! so, since i am left with a month or so, i will be spending every minute i have revising and i am apologizing first hand to all my peers if, IF i ditch you people for outing as i don't wish to have sucky grades! so, as for UT 3, i will targeting for a C for MATH, B for the rest of the module. OH, my cognitive result for this term have been pretty disappointing.. It's ok, there's always time to catch up i guess.
Meet up with Alex just now after gg to aunt's house for kenduri... I will be missing him big time when he is gone. FYI, he will be heading to UK for holiday! SUCK! he will be going to old trafford!!!!that's where every rich-brat goes for holiday!LOL.
Oh, i did play a part for the tuesday class comment. YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT, that, "that" girl is being pissing all day long and keep on asking who gives those feedbacks... i don't give a freaking damn about it. the reason being, all you did was copying all the work from 6P and claimed it is your damn freaking work! seriously, you can go to hell. i am not being mean or an ass, but, it is absolutely true! IF i am sticking to the same grp, there is higher chances of me going partial! i swear!
any who, that's all for today, i still have my RJ to finish up and my study timetable to make. GOODNIGHT!!!

Current Location: BEDROOM

Current Mood:

cheerful

Current Music: live like we're dying-kris allen

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12 May 2009 @ 09:16 pm

FUCK!

I AM FUCKING PISS!!PISS WITH MYSELF!HOW COULD I BE THAT DUMN OF DOING THE SAME MISTAKES OVER AND OVER AGAIN?!!!WHY???WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS???I WISH I WAS DEAD!THAT MY PLANS TO DIE ACTUALLY WORKS!I AM FUCKING, PLAIN DUMN!IT IS NOT THT I AM NOT GREATFUL FOR WHAT ALLAH HAVE GIVEN ME, I DO. BUT WHY DO IT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS KIND OF MIND TORTURE!WHY!!!!WHY CANT LIFE GET ANY SIMPLER!!WHY!!!I AM JUST FUCKING DUMN!FUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GUYS SUCK TOO!!!HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HATE YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood:

frustrated

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